I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I recorded my last DJ mixtape. This is due partly in fact that I had received new equipment as a birthday gift in 2010 that I had to take time to learn, as well as factor in all the new changes that took place in my life as far as school and work goes. But the biggest of changes? It has to be the change in music. Since the last recording I did, electronic dance music has taken the world by storm and I too, found myself embracing every last bit of it. Though I can’t say it’s new to me, as I have always been a fan of trance back in the days of Mars & Mystre, Darude, and ATB. But I am glad that it has finally found a way to go mainstream in ways I would never imagine. Seeing current house artists collaborate with some of hip-hop’s biggest names has made me incredibly happy, as it provided new inspiration that I could get to experiment with for these mixes.

With all that said, I give you, the “Crew Love” mixtape: three hours of some of the biggest house and hip-hop tracks from 2011, as well as my usual ode to my first love, old school hip-hop. The title pays homage to a song off Drake’s Take Care album, in addition to all of my friends who I will be sharing this weekend in Vegas with. This mix is also the first under my new moniker, Starstruck, as DJ Matty Matt is no more. Why? Well, that will be a story told another time.

Download:
Part 1: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?y37h17qexjrfw3k
Part 2: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?vzyprs4v6sog2tt
Part 3: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ihn4zkhe3pddkmq
*links have been updated 1/18/12

I remember longing for the day when my life would be what it is today: having a daily routine, making money, and spending all that extra time after doing whatever I want. I wanted to make more mixtapes, design more t-shirts, and of course, blog more often. But what do I do on those days where I’m not out with friends or running an errand? I sit. I watch television. I do absolutely nothing but let myself be mindless because quite frankly, I have waited eight years to do so. But I realize that while it’s okay to let myself relax after a long day’s work, it was only a matter of time before I got back to being semi-productive and not waste the small ounces of talent I have left in me.

And task #1 is to start blogging again. I was only reminded to do so after hearing co-workers discuss the blogs they have started of their own. Although most blogs these days focus on a topic of interest and mine does not, I still intend to maintain it, hoping it touches some lives one way or another.

Well, first off, a professional’s frustration usually equates to something along the lines of, “I need to be the best I can be, and I will work my butt off to do it.” This may not be 100% true, but the idea is simple. There is a set goal, and one dedicates most of their life to achieving it. That’s why careers are often referred to as, “professions,” because most individuals spend a number of years preparing to be that doctor, lawyer, or even actor or musician. The frustration is that no matter how hard one tries, there will always be someone better. However, he or she continues to work at it and strive for perfection because there are resources to do so.

What are these resources that separate a professional from an amateur? Time. There is a lot less time for an amateur to practice, critique, and perfect their craft after juggling a “normal life” filled with work, school, and maintaining relationships with family and loved ones. This creates a huge problem when one has the desire to improve their skill or hobby. How can one do so if these activities are only engaged in for a fraction of the day or week? Generally, it can’t be done. And there is an immense frustration knowing that you want to improve so badly, but can’t. Not if you are bound with the responsibilities of making a living and caring for a family. You are then left discontent with your said skill or hobby, especially after a dissatisfying performance on the court or a show on the stage.

So is there a solution to this frustration? Keep in mind that this only applies to the amateurs who carry a strong passion for their hobbies and constantly have the desire to advance their skills in it. This does not apply to those who simply do things for their own pleasure with no concern for criticism or judgement. It also mainly applies to adults who have more responsibilities that take up time; as a child, there is a lot more time to master the craft that is chosen. But whichever type of amateur you are, the only concept I can propose is that one must learn to be happy within their own means. If you value your skills or talents so much that you can’t shrug off being discontent with your skill level, you must be willing to sacrifice the little time you already have in order to improve. Otherwise, you must accept the fact that you are who you are, and people, including yourself, can either love it or hate it.

If only the choice were that simple…

Well, as most of my friends know, I have already officially signed my life away to Target Corporation as a pharmacist for the West Los Angeles area, following graduation and licensure next summer. They made me an offer that seemed too promising to refuse at this point. Yes, despite my love, pride, and appreciation for the Bay Area, it looks like Matty Matt will still remain in SoCal after eight years. During that time, I have lived in the armpit of Riverside, the beaches of Orange County, and boroughs of East Los Angeles. Since there is really no immediate reason for me to leave the region which I have called home my entire adult life, where I have built my network of close friends, loved ones, and working professionals, I have decided to stay and see what life is like on the west side.

But why Target? Why community pharmacy? Well, being that it’s been my primary experience and comfort zone the last 4 years, why not? I was definitely open to the countless options this profession has had to offer since being bombarded with information as a first year, but for one reason or another, the signs kept pointing me away from it. I did not get the intern job I applied for at a hospital my first year, so that in itself limited me from that scope of practice. Although it was cool working in an office environment at my Managed Care rotation, the type of work was not attractive to me: long-term projects involving lots of reading, interrupted by meeting after meeting = taking work home. My next best experience was Ambulatory Care, but I didn’t enjoy it enough to pursue a residency…and the type of work definitely didn’t seem like it was worth all of the work (and pay cut) during that extra year.

So that is why I chose to stick with the type of job that I have been comfortable with my entire working career: “slaving away” for an entire shift, but putting it all behind you once you clock out. Some days can be a nightmare, but others are some of the most rewarding experiences I have ever witnessed. Being the type of person I am, there is no better feeling than making a connection with another human being through day-to-day small talk. The feeling is heightened  even more so when the person on other side of the counter shows their gratitude and appreciation for your service. I especially get this feeling at Target pharmacies than I have in my past experiences at CVS and such. Doing all of this and getting paid pretty good money for it is why I chose to pursue pharmacy. And with how advanced the profession is getting where pharmacists are getting more and more non-traditional roles, I am happy to find that this traditional pharmacist is still in demand.

So when I tell my preceptors, recent grads, and classmates my decision, they often question it. Or actually, they don’t question it, but they often mutter expressions resembling an “oh…” as if there is a negative connotation associated with being a community pharmacist. Why aren’t I pursuing a higher discipline of learning? Why don’t I want to “do more” for the profession? Why don’t I want to give the profession a better perception by pursuing non-traditional roles?

Well, quite frankly, I want to get my life started. I’ve had a ton of other interests that I’ve had to put on hold because of pharmacy school. I’m the only one of my close friends who went to grad school and in the health profession. I look forward to when my work day ends so I can go see what the rest of the world has to offer. It is through this reflection where I realize that some people focus too much on having a meaningful career when they should probably focus on having a meaningful life. Namely, one that doesn’t involve much work. And although these residencies and fellowships are often only one extra year of 60-hour weeks with one-third the pay of what a normal pharmacist makes, there will still always be higher learning available. There will always be bigger opportunities requiring lots of investing that will be attractive. But at some point, the time will come where you need to draw the line and start living your life. And for me, that time, has come.

So it is here where I propose a toast: To those who find joy and passion in the opportunities they pursue. To those who have taught and motivated us to have an open mind and consider all possible options. To those like my classmates who want to change the world and shape the way our profession is moving because, hey, I couldn’t do it. And to people like me, who may not be good at much, but are comfortable with what they are good at and having the security to continue doing so.

Cheers.

In due time.

The funny thing about all of this is that I was never a sports fan. If anyone has truly known me for a long period of time, music and the arts have always taken precedence over any sporting event. I would much rather spend time being creative with something rather than wasting away watching a game that may not have mattered, especially since NorCal sports has been pretty disappointing most of my life.  Be that as it may, I was always a sports supporter. I watched the Giants as a child and my favorite player was Will Clark. My brother and I used to practice hitting in our front lawn, using the odd patches of grass as “bases.” I still remember all of those “home runs” he hit over the house across the street, to which we started using wiffle balls to spare the cash on buying replacement baseballs. I never really played football, but everyone was a 49ers fan back in the golden ages of Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, and Steve Young (my brother and I still have framed photographs of them in our garage somewhere). I was especially excited when the Niners beat the Chargers in the 1995 Super Bowl, the game that my brother attended in Miami. And though basketball in NorCal was less than mediocre (and in some ways still is), it was my favorite sport to play. I had a pretty good jump shot, and after watching my favorites like MJ, John Stockton, and Penny Hardaway at the time, I tried out for the team in 8th grade, but failed because I was too fat to run.

Once my brother left for college, and the fact that I didn’t have many close friends growing up, my sports interest rapidly declined. It was at this time that I turned my attention to the artistic side of life and played music. This lasted right up until high school, when Jason Williams finally gave the Sacramento Kings something to cheer about for once. And even though I faced a tremendous heartbreak when the Lakers beat the Kings in Game 7 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals, I already knew that I could not jump ship. Whether it was the Kings or the Warriors, I had to represent my home area for all it was worth, especially since I moved to SoCal for college that very fall season. I would then suffer another heartbreak once I arrived, as the Giants choked in the 2002 World Series against the Angels. I’ll admit, I was too into basketball to be a baseball “fan” like I was as a kid,  but I still supported, hoping that NorCal could finally have bragging rights for something.

Fast-forward to today, November 1, 2010. Just 7 months earlier, I decided to attend my first Giants game, at Dodger Stadium. I knew we’ve been on a dry-spell since ’02, but for some reason I felt that this should be the year to have a little more faith. I went into the game knowing zilch about any of the players, I called the “7th-inning stretch” a “2-minute warning” since it was so long since I had really paid attention to baseball, and was convinced I was cursed as we fell to the Dodgers, 10-8. But after a few more televised games, a few attendances at AT&T Park over summer, and the ESPN iPhone app, I was a fan once again. I managed to keep track of them the entire season until they claimed victory this very evening, and I have never been more proud of that. We hit many hard times this year, but we pulled through. And the best part is that no one expected us to. The Bay Area finally has something to be proud of. And even though we still might not beat the Lakers and the Niners have been irrelevant for over a decade, I will always be proud and represent where I am from.

From the Bay to here in LA, this one’s for you, Giants.

Ever since their debut album, Hybrid Theory, all the way up until their most recent release, A Thousand Suns, I have spent countless hours reading, streaming interviews, watching bonus DVDs, and thoroughly listening to what this band had to say. This will sound pretty lame, but as a musician, I feel as if I know the members personally because of how they crafted their works of art. I’m not saying that I am a highly talented or master artist, but I do feel that one does not truly know what it means to critique and appreciate music unless they are capable of composing and playing music themselves. Thus, I have found the wisdom of these band members, Mike Shinoda in particular, to be highly relatable to the creative aspects of my life in the past 10 years.

I’ve always wanted to pay homage to Linkin Park by doing a cover, but due to the nature of their sound, it was always damned near impossible. At most, I would be able to rap some of their verses, but there was no way in hell I could reach Chester’s screaming vocals. That is, until their Minutes to Midnight album was released in 2007. I finally had the time to sit down and record one of my favorite songs of theirs. I hope you enjoy it:

Recorded: August 2010, as part of the “End of Summer Series”
mp3 download:  http://www.mediafire.com/?y0jj4ptb88a762p

Recorded: August 2010, as part of the “End of Summer Series”
mp3 download: http://www.mediafire.com/?jvnw8dxfenwv5v5

But with every pro comes a con. As much as I am so thankful for experiences SoCal and LA have given me, there is a part of me that absolutely hates the region (and it’s not just their sports teams). I hate how the large abundance of overly pretentious people have influenced the way I conduct myself day-to-day, lowering my patience and making me much more judgmental. With all of these nuisances, in addition to the ridiculous amount of traffic that I somehow believe lowers my quality of life, I often tell myself I’m going to pick up and leave once I graduate and go back up where I came from. But that would of course mean I would have to leave the place that has allowed me to be as happy as I am today.

After about an hour later on the drive, Mat Kearney’s album, City of Black and White, begins its rotation as the sun sets on I-5. The album’s title track gives me yet, another epiphany. Just because I came from a humble beginning in a small town, doesn’t mean I can’t coexist with what LA has to offer. The obvious contrast between my values, interests, and personality doesn’t have to separate me from those whom I interact on a daily basis. In a city that I feel is so fickle, beauty can be found. The shades of each color can create harmony. It was the subtle connection between these two songs that inspired me to record a medley, as it applies to me. I hope you enjoy it:

Recorded: August 2010, as part of the “End of Summer Series”
mp3 download: http://www.mediafire.com/?swxx8iwzbqag8ad

I talk to…

• the one from San Leandro every day.
• the one down the street every other day.
• the roommate about once a week.

Exhibit B:
I grew up with my all of my close cousins from my Dad’s side in Napa, CA. Now that we’re all grown up, about half of us live in SoCal and the other half still in NorCal. I also have cousins from my mom’s side who live in Oslo, Norway. I didn’t really get to know them until the last 4 or 5 years.

In the past year I have spent…

• about 20 days with my Norwegian cousins, who live more than 5,000 miles away
• about 11-12 days with my NorCal cousins, who live more than 300 miles away
• and 2 days with my SoCal cousins, who all live within 30 miles of me.

Exhibit C:
I see my parents on average, 4 or 5 times a year, with each visit only consisting of a few qualitative hours to talk to them. Meanwhile, others live with their parents and are hardly ever home to have even something as simple as a sit-down meal.

—

I think you all see the trend here. A few things can be learned from the excerpts above. On one hand, it reaffirms the old saying we’ve all heard: “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” When we know we don’t have the privilege and luxury of seeing our loved ones so often, we make the best of what we can, as often as we can. On the other hand, we take it for granted when our things of value are such a prime convenience. We don’t often wonder how we would managed the moment it is taken away.

But what if we learned our lesson and it’s time to make a change for the better? What if that which was so far before is now within arms’ reach? Will it be valued the same? Or will it too, be lost in the busyness of life? Is it realistic to think that the meaningful interactions you share with loved ones from afar will be just as cherished? The answer to these questions can be answered with one word:

Effort.

Download:
Part 1: http://www.mediafire.com/?1c78uw5qaz8613u
Part 2: http://www.mediafire.com/?hr0t1083wnbz63u